I was two and a half years old when my sister was born. And right away, she was my best friend. One of the first photos we have together is when I was around 3 or 4 years old, and I had snuck into my parent's room one morning to say hi to her. Which I guess had become a common practice by now, because my parents seem to be anticipating my arrival. When I got to the pen where my sister was already wide awake and also seemingly anticipating my arrival, my parents decided to surprise me. I don't know if they yelled "boo" or something to that effect, but the sudden noise scared me a little bit. A fact that was immortalized by the photo my parents took of the moment, and the wet stain at the front of my pajamas. And yes, I still have the photo.
From that point on, Christel and I, or "Sissy", were pretty much inseparable. Until that brief period as teenagers of course, when we went through periods of absolutely hating each other's guts. But otherwise, yeah, inseparable.
One thing that contributed to that relationship was the fact that our brothers were a lot older than us. Will and Chuck were seven and five years older than me, and nine and seven years older than Christel. So, by the time they were out of the house, which is always accelerated when you have a crazy ass mother, both of use were still in elementary school. So, we grew up with each other more than we did our brothers.
I was always an awkward kid. I never really fit in much anywhere and didn't have a lot of close friends. Christel usually did better in me in that department. She always seemed to end up with a best friend at any of the seven or eight schools we attended in Amarillo alone. But I could usually count on the fact that I could share with her any cockamamie ideas I had, or whatever new girl I was probably crushing on. And I could also share with her the heartbreak when the girl either didn't even know my name or already had a boyfriend that was not only older, but probably a foot taller as well. Things I couldn't share with my mother because she would make way too much of an issue over them. And not in the cute mom kind of way. But in the "lets stalk the girl you have a crush on" kind of way. So yeah, really leaned on Christel in those years.
Of course, the moment she really went to bat was my senior year in high school when I thought I finally had found a girl that would go out with me. We had kind of become best friends as well at that point and I just figured it was a natural step from friends to boyfriend and girlfriend. That's when she hit me with the dreaded "dating ruins friendship" line. And then another dude who had a crush on her lied for some reason and said I threatened to beat him up for being friends with her, something I am way too mild-mannered for, and suddenly the girl was yelling at me over it in public. Yes, I cried.
I came to school late the next day because my mom had to take me to an orthodontics appointment. And when I got there, people were running up to me and asking what happened between my sister and Rachel, my now former friend. I was clueless. I had just gotten to school and had no idea that my 5'3 sister approached the 5'10 cowgirl and basically told her where she was going to place her rather petite foot if Rachel didn't summon an apology, and quickly. Even going so far as to confront liar dude as well.
Now Rachel was not the girl you went around picking a fight with. Especially when you're looking up at her with your neck cranked back. But that didn't bother Christel. And witnesses to the confrontation told me that Christel was so angry and fierce in her defense of me, that Rachel had no idea what to do and simply walked away. Christel isn't really a fighter either. And when I finally caught up with her and asked what the heck she was thinking, she simply broke into tears and said she couldn't let anyone treat me that way. She was absolutely terrified of Rachel, and with good reason. She probably could have hurt her badly. But Christel didn't care, and she was willing to take whatever lumps to defend my honor. Of course, thirty or so years later, Rachel is a dear friend.
After my graduation, our relationship took an unfortunate turn for a while. My mom took my growing up and wanting to have a life of my own, and finally having that much sought after girlfriend, as an insult and that put a lot of pressure on my relationship with Christel. It became a "whose side are you on" scenario, and Sis was one of the people caught in the middle. A place she wouldn't be able to find her way out of until after Dorothy finally passed in 2006. And after our dad died a year later, it put Christel in an unfamiliar place. She had to finally live for herself, but my parents hadn't really taught her how to do that.
I can tell you that that experience put her into a lot of difficult places emotionally. Because she was so used to taking care of other people, she had no clue how to take care of herself. And she bounced around a lot with relatives and probably put herself in some awkward situations trying to find where she belonged. Even asking people she really didn't know if she could land with them. Because loneliness is a bitch.
I think of all the people who underestimated her and the person she is today. I think of all the chains our mother shackled her with, and how hard she was worked to shed them. I think of someone who finally got the chance to be their own person at thirty-two years old, but no clue how to go about doing it at that age. Or when she had her daughter and had no family to lean on or support her. And how sorry I feel for people that don't want to see how hard she's busted her ass to be a better, stronger, kinder person. A person who had to learn to not only recognize boundaries but also had to learn to recognize that she had a right to them as well. Can you imagine how hard that is?
One more thing, no one can make me laugh quite like my sister can. When we were in high school, we often compared ourselves to two Winnie the Pooh characters. Considering her high energy personality, and my somewhat self-absorbed and maudlin moods at the time, Tigger and Eeyore were obvious fits. And one day I found some figurines at a Disney store that fit us more perfectly than anything I'd ever seen. It was a simple scene of Eeyore sitting in front of Tigger, with Tig pulling back on Eeyore's cheeks so he could see what it felt like to smile. "So, this is what smiling feels like" the figurine reads. Perfect.
Thanks, Sis. For being my rock, my comic relief, and my occasional bodyguard and defender. And for always being the one I could count on when I felt the most alone.
I love you.
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